The Onion - For Women

[AmandaHuie]

Pick up a free copy of The Onion this week on the streets of DC. The issue is all for women and features a pink masthead.

Headlines include -

"Women Now Empowered by Everything a Woman Does"

"Women Masterbates to Concept of Commitment"

"Blue's Singer's Woman Premitted to Tell Her Side"

"Dying Girl Lent Pony"

"Abusive Husband Has Sense of Humor About It"

"Who's a Girl Gotta Fuck to Get Some Closure on Her Relationship with Her Father"






Thank you to Charly who brought me a copy. Charly loves the ladies.

[DesmondHume]

Love the exploitation humor.

Viva l'onion!

[Chrississippi]

"Blue's Singer's Woman Premitted to Tell Her Side"

"Who's a Girl Gotta Fuck to Get Some Closure on Her Relationship with Her Father"

:afterbuzz:

[AmandaHuie]

oooh! Most of the articles are online too!

http://www.theonion.com/

[AmandaHuie]

More headlines -

"Mother, Daughter Exchange Encoded Menstruation-Related Message Over Dinner Table"

"Woman Angered When Veiled Anger Expressed As Mock Anger Is Interpreted As Real Anger"

"Seemingly Shy Woman Really Just Stuck-Up, Friends Say"

"Slightly Upset Woman Declared Insane"


http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/onion_imagearticle602.jpg
I use #9 the most.

[DesmondHume]

Welcome to 1996, please enjoy your stay. ;)

[AmandaHuie]

shouldn't you be posting in the Lost thread?

[DesmondHume]

Why would I need to read what other people think about LOST?

Since Locke blew up the Swan Hatch I seem to know everything, and frankly, its not all its cracked up to be.

[mouse]

now now, kids. play nice.

yay for PMS and uh... yeah

[AmandaHuie]

Did Allison just try to moderate me?

BANNED!

[DesmondHume]

Banned?

[lupitanahsee]

:afterbuzz:

[bubblzdc]

i need a copy of this

[AmandaHuie]

Banned?

ha.

i am pretty sure you know what it means.

[DesmondHume]

Well, according to the dictionary:

1. to prohibit, forbid, or bar; interdict: to ban nuclear weapons; The dictator banned all newspapers and books that criticized his regime.
2.Archaic.
a. to pronounce an ecclesiastical curse upon.
b. to curse; execrate.

3. the act of prohibiting by law; interdiction.
4. informal denunciation or prohibition, as by public opinion: society's ban on racial discrimination.
5. Law.
a. a proclamation.
b. a public condemnation.

6. Ecclesiastical. a formal condemnation; excommunication.
7. a malediction; curse.

Am I close?

[AmandaHuie]

Urban dictionary tends to be more accurate at times like this

1. BANNED
14 up, 6 down


Something that occures while pissing off a server administrator.

admin: "who thinks this server is cool?"
person: not me
admin has banned person.
admin: ROFL!! GODMODE TIME AND NOCLIP!!
by anonymous Aug 23, 2003 email it
permalink: del.icio.us
Send to a friend
your email:
their email:
send me the word of the day (it's free)



2. banned
7 up, 3 down


verb - usually permantently disallowed from a gaming/irc/chat/forum server for doing something completely dispicable.

/ctcp (Insert Server Bot here)
You must set your firewall to allow port 59 to use this server.
(Kizza) Fuck, Fuck, Fuck!!!!111
(Insert Server Bot here) You are banned from my server, Idiots do not use my server.
Kizza banned from server (Reason: For being an idiot)

True Story ;-)
by Kizza Feb 5, 2005 email it
3. banned
8 up, 6 down


When someone in a gaming forum (e.g. NSider, GameFAQs, IGN, etc.) posts links to gaming websites that are inappropriate or for mature people in the forum (e.g. razoric.com, newgrounds.com/collection s/vg.html, videogamedc.com, rom websites, etc.)

Forum Member: *After 4999 minutes being banned was over, Forum Member puts in a mature-rated weblink.*

Forum Moderator: *Banned Forum Member again.*

Forum Member: NNNOOO!!! D:<

Narrator of X-Play: YOU LOSE...AGAIN!

Kool-Aid Man: OH YEAH!
by frodaddy Mar 22, 2005 email it

4. Banned
5 up, 5 down


An english comedy / rap group who make absolutely hilarious, in your face music. Very popular in north england, still underground.

"We went to see Banned live."
by DReaver13 Sep 15, 2003 email it
5. BANNED
4 up, 4 down


When a poster on GameFAQs, usually on the board LUE, says something which is worthy of a banning from the site.

LUEser: (Insert LUEicide here)
LUSser: "So true, but BANNED!!!11!!!shift+one!! !111"
by Stoufer Aug 16, 2003 email it
6. banned
5 up, 7 down


Something that happens to all good IGN board users. Not to say all people banned are good users.

The mods are gay because they frequently get me banned.
by Fopface Aug 4, 2004 email it
7. banned
10 thumbs down


When somebody says something you do not agree with, so you exclude them from your conversation by using the word ' banned '

girl: so what did you do last night after the party? did you sneak out?

other girl: nah i went to sleep. i got scared.

girl: your banned!

[Jewcus]

he saw that coming amanda, he is desmond after all

[DesmondHume]

Oh, I didn't realize that it had a technical connotation associated with message boards.

Thank you for the etymology lesson, it was most educational.

[Kitty Kat]

More headlines -

"Mother, Daughter Exchange Encoded Menstruation-Related Message Over Dinner Table"

"Woman Angered When Veiled Anger Expressed As Mock Anger Is Interpreted As Real Anger"

"Seemingly Shy Woman Really Just Stuck-Up, Friends Say"

"Slightly Upset Woman Declared Insane"


http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/onion_imagearticle602.jpg
I use #9 the most.


number nine is def. the best! lol

[Jenni XO]

"Dying Girl Lent Pony"





:chairfall:

[Funshine]

I picked up a copy of this while on the way to work today - loving it!

[juicyjay]

awesome

[Jungle Jessi]

LOLOLOLOL @ cap'n bloodsnatch!!!!!! :afterbuzz:

[EmmaK]

Pick up a free copy of The Onion this week on the streets of DC. The issue is all for women and features a pink masthead.

Ahhhhhhhhhhh nice! Must find a copy. I have no clue where they're stocked, though :(

[Alexis]

It's an Austin based publication. In Austin they are sold in boxes on the street with the other newspapers. :delirious:

[[geek]]

I like The Onion's content, but they suck for a few reasons:

- apparently they have a profile system there
- I received calls and texts from random people saying they had gotten my number from there
- I couldn't log in or find my profile to get rid of it
- called their customer service to no avail
- never got my number taken down
- three months later I stopped receiving random calls from guys trying to hit on me

BOO.

[Funshine]

Ahhhhhhhhhhh nice! Must find a copy. I have no clue where they're stocked, though :(
If you get near Rosslyn, check the metro :yes:

Or, I guess I could nab a copy for you! Are you going to be in DC tonight?

[EmmaK]

If you get near Rosslyn, check the metro :yes:

Or, I guess I could nab a copy for you! Are you going to be in DC tonight?
I'm leaving for Bmore in a few mins...would you mind nabbing a copy, and next time I see you...? If not, no worries :D

[sassypance]

there's a box in CP as well.

[mouse]

Did Allison just try to moderate me?

BANNED!

no moderation was implied by my statement.

at least that wasnt the intention....

heh

[Funshine]

I'm leaving for Bmore in a few mins...would you mind nabbing a copy, and next time I see you...? If not, no worries :D
Yeah, I grabbed a copy. I'll just bring it whenever we're out next - it's just a paper, no worries :yes: