New Track...let me know what you think?

[djgalbis]

I wrote the original version of this song in March of last year during the snow storm. I remixed it and the version I wrote then wasn't too happening. I came back from school this summer and remixed it again and this version is much better. Tell me what you guys think...

So apparently the links weren't working...here you go, a direct link to the page with the streaming and download options.

http://djgalbis.dmusic.com/trackinfo/142135

[djliquidice]

What are your goals? What direction are you wanting to take this? It has the elctronic trancey sound to it. This has no structure. Listen to a lot of dj versions of trance tracks, learn and study how the build things up. Then emulate it. Your timing is not structure well. That swish sound is not timed right at some parts. What apps are u using?

You should study (and i don't mean books) songs from start to end. :) then restructure your song.
-Jay

[buzzboy]

i cant get it to stream or download, the transmission strts on either way but then just freezes my media player :(

[djgalbis]

What are your goals? What direction are you wanting to take this? It has the elctronic trancey sound to it. This has no structure. Listen to a lot of dj versions of trance tracks, learn and study how the build things up. Then emulate it. Your timing is not structure well. That swish sound is not timed right at some parts. What apps are u using?

You should study (and i don't mean books) songs from start to end. :) then restructure your song.
-Jay

There is a structure to the song. There is an introduction, the swish initiates a change in instruments, there is a quiet part where the sound builds up and breaks. So far, I think the structure is alright. I'm not offended, I take your critique well, I'm just saying listen to the song a little more and you'll see there is a structure. This version of the track would not fit a club because it goes directly into the song way too fast, and the end of the song doesn't really break down...but an extended version can always be made. For my first album I only used FruityLoops 4 Studio. A) That's all I had at the time, B) I wanted to try writing the same music with as great of a sound with the resources I had. Also, I did not use a midi controller...all melodies were punched in using QWERTY-to-KEYBOARD.

The reason the remix was written was to see how it sounded, you can hear the original version of the trance remix on that same site...and compare the two (new version) and see why I think the new one is such a leap forward.

[djgalbis]

i cant get it to stream or download, the transmission strts on either way but then just freezes my media player :(

try to do it again, might have been the server. if not try a different player. if you are using windows media player, switch to iTunes (www.apple.com/itunes)...its more stable and reliable and better and music than WMP...If its Winamp...i dont see why there should be a problem.

[djliquidice]

There is a structure to the song. There is an introduction, the swish initiates a change in instruments, there is a quiet part where the sound builds up and breaks. So far, I think the structure is alright. I'm not offended, I take your critique well, I'm just saying listen to the song a little more and you'll see there is a structure. This version of the track would not fit a club because it goes directly into the song way too fast, and the end of the song doesn't really break down...but an extended version can always be made. For my first album I only used FruityLoops 4 Studio. A) That's all I had at the time, B) I wanted to try writing the same music with as great of a sound with the resources I had. Also, I did not use a midi controller...all melodies were punched in using QWERTY-to-KEYBOARD.

The reason the remix was written was to see how it sounded, you can hear the original version of the trance remix on that same site...and compare the two (new version) and see why I think the new one is such a leap forward.

When i mean structure, i mean your phrase timing. The swish sound generally is used to accent the end of a 32beat phrase. You use it seemingly at random (or at the change of an instrument). Do things they way you want, be different. By all means be you. However, I'm just going to say that there is a reason why producers do things they way they do - they sound right. And a lot of this song (timing mainly) just isn't right.