Why do the people you love hurt you the most?

[MeowMeowKitty]

so let me ask all of you: what does one do when you've tried to do everything possible to support & help your sibling and they end up making you the villian in situations which only remotely involve you??
1) do you stop trying to contact your sibling and let them call you -- or do you keep calling & trying to communicate with them??
2) do you stand up for yourself and not let them drag you into it or down with them or do you just suck it up and apologize for something that's not your fault?
3) do you maintain your pride or give in because they're family?
4) do you let them make you their emotional punching bag or save your own sanity by detaching yourself?

thoughts??

[Buddafly]

#2 part A

to answer your initial question- they hurt you the most because they matter the most. things that not-so-close people say to you don't hurt as much because frankly, they don't really matter in the long run.

stand up for yourself, because in the long run- you need to worry about you. being the punching bag is going to make you resent your sibling, and may screw you up emotionally.

maintain your pride, your self esteem, and your sanity.

[Julierose]

I say you need to try to communicate with them... don't let your relationship go to hell because they are going through a rough time... BUT be firm and dont let them use you as "an emotional punching bag" there has to be some happy medium to all of this... You dont know how lucky you are to have a sibling... I dont have any brothers or sisters, I wish I did though, even if the relationship was problematic... It must be nice to know that no matter how bad it gets you will always have that sibling, but you must return the favor by being there for them and supporting them when they need you... Sounds like they need you now... :shrug:

[LadyJ]

Pretty much the same thing that Becky said:

They people you love the most are the only people close enough to hurt you that much. You have to let people in to really be vulnerable.
You should definitely stand up for yourself and be honest, but in the end, that's family. I can say things to my family that I can't say to anyone else because I know that at the end of the day, they will ALWAYS be there for me. Not that I'm a bitch, but it works both ways. We know that we'll always be there, so we're comfortable being brutally honest.

[Electric Head]

I'm sorry that this is happening to you (assuming it is). Buddafly's right...they hurt us the most because we let them in the deepest (I hope people will refrain from making that into a sex thing). Here's my free opinion (not even worth 2 cents) to your ?'s:

1. Try letting them know where you are and how to keep in touch, but then also let them know that you're done trying (if you've had enough) and it's up to them now.

2. You have to stand up for yourself or no one will. And never make an apology for something you didn't do. It let's someone else off the hook when they may need to learn a lesson from their mistakes.

3. You have to deal w/ family from time to time.....but you have to live with yourself everyday. Decide where you want your loyalties to be. Keep in mind: To your own self be true

4. It's called Compassionate Detatchment.....love em, help em when you can, but not when it hurts you, or causes emotional stress. The way you posed the question.......you know the answer.

Hope this helps....good luck.

[Electric Head]

So much PLUR in this thread....I can hardly stand it!

[Electric Head]

It's also hard, I now see, to take advise seriously when there's an animated booty shaker doin her thing right there.

[KittyBleu]

I'll take the un-PLURy approach and go with Dear Abbey on this one..

Life would be better if people realized that they do not have to stay in touch with family.

:shrug: My family would sooner stab you in the back, rip the knife out and keep stabbing you in the back if they could get at least a nickle out of it. They'd go even further for more money...so I said..."screw ya! I'm outta here!" To this date only my mother, father and half brother ever hear from me. the rest can shove it..they are not good people and family or no, I only want good people in my life.

[Tigger]

because you love them.

[jrob]

It hurts the most because they know the EXACT thing to do to hurt you, and sometimes the use that thing. It sucks.

[MeowMeowKitty]

thanks so much for your advice & responses to my questions. seems like you're all pretty much saying the same thing, i just needed to hear it from unbiased peeps.

:bow: :D

[MeowMeowKitty]

Originally posted by Electric Head
It's also hard, I now see, to take advise seriously when there's an animated booty shaker doin her thing right there.


Actually...just makes me smile and remember not to take myself so seriously!!

http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/kao/otn/pmikkogirl-parapara.gif

[Electric Head]

That's so cool.....and I love your smilie.....looks like you're a friend of Michelle's....have we met?

[MeowMeowKitty]

Originally posted by Electric Head
That's so cool.....and I love your smilie.....looks like you're a friend of Michelle's....have we met?


i'm not sure....we may have. are you going to cubik tomorrow?

[Electric Head]

But of course. Michelle, as you prolly know, will not be there. But I will, with the greatest girl in the world (um...so far)

Were you at that house party in DC last w/end? With Michelle's crew?

[MeowMeowKitty]

Originally posted by Electric Head
But of course. Michelle, as you prolly know, will not be there. But I will, with the greatest girl in the world (um...so far)

Were you at that house party in DC last w/end? With Michelle's crew?


wasn't there last weekend....hmmm....maybe i'll meet you & your woman tomorrow ... i'll look for you :thumbsup: