Threesomes Blow: They are just not natural, sorry...

[Simon]

I love Vice Magazine


::THREESOME'S BLOW::
They are just not natural, sorry...

So you're lying on your back and two beautiful girls with waxed pussies are tending to your dink's every need. They are necking with each other and 69ing and one of them even has high heels on. You will be beating off about this moment for the next 40 years. Even some of your friends are going to touch their areas thinking about it. Or what if you're a girl being rubbed and kissed by the sweetest indie-rock-guy best friends this side of Eden? This isn't the date-rape gang bang you thought it might evolve into. These guys truly care about you and they know how to keep their mouths shut. It's pure bliss. Right?

No it's not. It's fucking boring. The truth is, threesomes are lamer than doing cheap coke with your parents at a Linkin Park concert, in the rain, on your period, with a really itchy rash, during a breakup, in broken sandals. The question is: Why is something you looked forward to your whole entire adolescence so shitty?

IT'S TOO HARD TO SET UP
Some blame the awesome task of organization when analyzing the shittiness of the threesome. It's OK if you're poor, though. Blue-collar girlfriends know tons of strippers and they have no problems bringing them home, but try having a college education and pulling off regular threesomes. It's like organizing a wedding for a very religious Sikh. It takes a lot of planning, a lot of luck, and a shitload of lies.

"I set it up with two ex-girlfriends. It was so rational and pre-planned we all had plenty of time to become really, really nervous and uncomfortable. One of the girls drank an incredible amount of red wine to relax and ended up vomiting all over the living-room floor. I went with her to the bathroom to see if she was OK and she just said, ‘I'm such a loser. I've ruined everything.' I said, ‘Don't worry. Just come to bed when you're ready.' Then I had to go back to the bathroom a bit later on and say, ‘Er…I know this may sound pretty awful, but when you do come to bed do you think you could remember to brush your teeth?' When we finally got down to it the sun was coming up and the whole fiasco ended up being so hard to maneuver, I just ended up jerking off on her bum."
—Noah Ross, 24

"I took home these two girls last Christmas. (People in New York like to make fun of L.A. but at least we get laid.) Anyway, it took a lot of drinks to get this girl to come home with me and my girlfriend, so by the time everything was ready to go I was drunk out of my mind. I fell asleep as they were both giving me a blowjob right at the beginning. You don't know how many times I've been masturbating and asked God to send me back to that moment.

They ended up fooling around on the couch while I slept. Me and my girl have probably had about five threesomes since we met seven years ago and I barely remember any of them. Having a sober threesome seems impossible."
—Chris Carlson, 30

WOMEN ARE STUPID
Another reason threesomes don't work is that most girls are just shitty in bed. How many times have you been with someone who, due to a total ignorance of how simple it is to beat off a dude, starts wrapping and winding her hand around your knob like a spastic ballerina on E trying to drive a stick shift? I even had one girl ask me if I prefer circles or strokes. What the fuck are circles? If it's just one-on-one the girl doesn't have to do anything. Just lie there in your stiletto boots and show me how you masturbate. You don't have to worry about all the little details. That's my job. The problem with threesomes is they require tenacity. You need two girls with tons of experience that are totally comfortable with their bodies and have all kinds of great ideas. Such a thing does not exist outside of Budapest.

"The first threesome I ever had was with this total slut named Alex and her, let's say, big-boned friend. I didn't mind the big girl, but she was so self-conscious I had to be like a therapist about it and help her out of her shell. My brother calls those ‘Phil Donahue fucks.' After all that coaxing the only way I could stay hard was to really go for it like a rabbit and that meant I only lasted about three minutes. It was pathetic."
—Dave Timmins, 25

"When I was in Mexico I hooked up with these two Canadian girls that talked about sex all the time. I should have known something was up because people who talk about sex all the time rarely know what they're doing. It's the quiet ones you have to watch out for. The whole night was awful. While one of them sort of got into it, the other sat there like a dead chicken. I stuck my fingers in her pussy while I had sex with the other one but they were both so, I don't know, vacant. The girl I was fingering just sort of squatted there like an old lady. It made me feel like a gynecologist so I just stopped."
—Dom Allans,32

MEN ARE MORONS
Don't get all mad about the "Women Are Stupid" thing. Men are lame, too. Shit, have you ever seen them in the nude? What is with that thing dangling there from their pubes? Was that just stuck on at the last minute? Nude men are just wrong. At least when it's just you and him you can say things like, "Maybe you could stop trying to put my legs behind my head" and "Stop skull-fucking me like that, you're hitting my gag reflex." Add another man to the equation and you have a big pile of silly dinks with no place to go.

"I've had threesomes in the past that were pretty good. My ex-boyfriend and his roommate were pretty cool. They were French and they didn't make me feel like a piece of meat. Of course, it always ended up with one of the guys watching or leaving the room and it just being the two people. It just seems more natural that way."
—Leslie Marie Nguyen, 22

"I actually like it being two guys on a girl better than two girls and a guy. I thought it was going to be odd to be naked with another man but it's not at all. It's like two guys digging a ditch. You don't look up at the other guy or try to touch his shovel. You just roll up your sleeves and focus on the hole. The thing I like best about it is, even if you're both unimpressive she still gets a serious session of lovemaking. Two wrongs can make a right in this case. She has to be a total slut, though. And she has to be just visiting. You don't want to be running into her at your local bar every night."
—Kevin Fischer, 31

"When I was in Greece I let these two American guys come back to my hotel. I was really drunk. They seemed like nice guys. I think they were a bit thrown off by seeing each other naked so they overcompensated. They gave each other high fives and started saying things like, ‘Oh yeah' and ‘She's liking that.' It made me cry and that really scared them. We ended up talking all night."
—Margaret Chantalle, 21

IT'S NOT NATURAL
Men are bad at it because they're too macho to deal. Women aren't good at it because it takes sexual initiative and that is primarily a male characteristic. Maybe it's just not meant to be. Don't get me wrong. If it comes up you should definitely give it a go. It's great for masturbating to, so bring it on and mentally videotape every nanosecond. Those home brain movies are priceless and they last forever. It's also great to tell your pals about it. In fact, I don't know how many times I've been sitting there looking at two girls rub my cum all over their tits and wasted the moment with "I can't WAIT to tell the guys about this." All that goodness aside, threesomes blow because, if you really boil it down, if you really analyze the actual sensation, the actual event in cold blood, it is just simply not fun. It's just not meant to be.

"I've had a few ménages a trois, but to be totally honest, they're just too much work. You feel like some kind of gay party host, walking around with a clipboard going, ‘OK, how are we doing over here? Is everyone all right for cock? Who needs some more finger bangs?' You never get to relax. I can barely satisfy one girl. Doubling my work is no fun."
—Craig Rivers, 34

"Unless she's a complete porn queen and loves having both holes plugged or she is so skilled she can easily give great head while getting her brains fucked out you're basically wasting your time. You end up acting like two horny orangutans trying to make one girl into two."
—JP Riley, 29

"I was actually going out with a guy and a girl for almost a year. We lived together in a polygamous relationship. Every night he would come home and there we'd be, lying in our giant bed. The sex was amazing but I think it made us all insane. He ended up moving to Alaska and I moved to Florida. I lost contact with the girl, but the last I heard she was a single mother. It felt weird. Like we were playing with a Ouija board or something. What we were doing was just not right. I've heard arguments that say humans aren't meant for monogamy, and some of those points are pretty sound, but I can say from personal experience that we aren't designed for polygamy either. It doesn't work."
—Sarah Berger, 35


JAMES SEWALL
:foamparty:

[Light Touch]

<--- would still like to get it on with two girls. :yes:

Just once, to check it off the list. :D

[Moebius]

Why try to set it up?

[Electric Head]

Bravo, dude. Finally an article that I wanted to finish!

(still like this idea though)

[Electric Head]

Originally posted by Light Touch
&lt;--- would still like to get it on with two girls. :yes:

Just once, to check it off the list. :D

Yes, and as the article reads, to mentally videotape every nanosecond.

[xxmellyxx]

:buttsex:

I must admit that when two woman kiss, its so sensual and sexy, but shit when you toss a man and create a threesome, thnigs can get awkward. Now I must sadly agree that some woman get overly dramatic over anything sexual let alone THREESOMES. The only advice i can give to you fellas is make sure your not DATING any of your threesome partners, things can get a weee bit ugly.

[bboyneko]

When I had a 3sum it was one of the most mind-blowing things Ive ever done..not lame in the slightest. This guy must have had a very bad 3sum.

They are hard to set up tho for the average person, so that much is true.

[Electric Head]

I think that threesomes go wrong it's mostly due to people performing like they would if they had one-on-one sex twice. Not the same. Once you get into that groove (so to speak) things can go very naturally. Although I've never personally had a girlfriend that was cool with us dating another woman on occasions, I know a few peeps who do this without problems. The relationship has to be strong first.

Or you can just get really drunk with a couple of people and act a freak....

[bboyneko]

3sums have to be for FUN..period..like playing a game of monopoly or cow tipping..no point other than having fun..if you take it too seriously or try to throw romance into it is when it goes wrong agreed.

[Electric Head]

Exactamundo bboy....if you think that sex is just sex, this'll work. But, yes, romance, this is not.

Is this going to be one of those threads that only guys respond to?

[tigermomma]

*SAUSAGE PARTAY!!!!*

[bboyneko]

sex is just sex but at the same time..having cheap sex for the sake of having sex is like having drive-thru 6 piece chicken mcnuggets..then making love with your lady is like gourmete food..now the chicken mcnuggets and gourmete food both satisfy hunger..having the 6-peice in no way makes the gourmete food any less gourmete or less special.

[Electric Head]

*TACO PARTAY!!!*

[tigermomma]

:werd:
There are not many people that think like that though.

:ripped:

[DeliriumDneRite]

3-somes kind of suck. Someone always gets semi left out. Especially if you're doing any actual sex. I advise always doing things in even numbers...that way you can all play together, and you can pair off for the actual screwing.

[bboyneko]

I mean i doubt anyone thinks of their masturbation sessions as 'romantic'..so if you can regularly get off for the sake of getting off with no romantic strings..why not do that with sex?

[tigermomma]

The ego.
The minute you bring another woman OR man into a relationship and one of the partners is not certain of their standing in said relationship

You're screwed...and not in the way you want to be.

In my experiences its never been actual 3 way action as much as doing the whole voyeur/ exhibitionist/ dominant watcher kind of thing.

:shrug:

[beth]

Originally posted by Simon

I think they were a bit thrown off by seeing each other naked so they overcompensated. They gave each other high fives and started saying things like, ‘Oh yeah' and ‘She's liking that.' It made me cry and that really scared them.


hifives? come on.
what an awkward situation.

[Alexis]

This is my favorite exerpt from the article

"I've had a few ménages a trois, but to be totally honest, they're just too much work. You feel like some kind of gay party host, walking around with a clipboard going, ‘OK, how are we doing over here? Is everyone all right for cock? Who needs some more finger bangs?' You never get to relax. I can barely satisfy one girl. Doubling my work is no fun."
—Craig Rivers, 34


:delirious:

[Article One]

Originally posted by Simon
but try having a college education and pulling off regular threesomes. It's like organizing a wedding for a very religious Sikh. It takes a lot of planning, a lot of luck, and a shitload of lies.




:afterbuzz:


too fucking funny dude.


the whole article is great.

[KittyBleu]

:shrug: I didn't mind the one I was in..but it was funny at some moments.."How you doin' over here?" :D Didn't make the relationship odd either since it was just for fun... I dunno...I'd like to have some boobies that aren't my own in my life sometimes..and the fella can't really mind that..

[Article One]

hahah...you just set yourself up to get like 50 PMs from all the numbnuts around here.

[blewmymindblank]

"It's like two guys digging a ditch. You don't look up at the other guy or try to touch his shovel. You just roll up your sleeves and focus on the hole."

:whoa: :no: :nono: :no:

[uberclkgtr]

Originally posted by Simon
[Threesomes are] also great to tell your pals about. In fact, I don't know how many times I've been sitting there looking at two girls rub my cum all over their tits and wasted the moment with &quot;I can't WAIT to tell the guys about this.&quot;

:haha::haha::haha:

[LexxLuther]

Originally posted by WanderingStarz
This is my favorite exerpt from the article

You never get to relax. I can barely satisfy one girl. Doubling my work is no fun.&quot;
—Craig Rivers, 34


:delirious:


Not me....throw em all at me one by one....u set em up I'll spike em down!


*Kittyblue gots the dank avatar!*....:thumbsup: :werd:

[Gizmo]

Originally posted by WanderingStarz
"I've had a few ménages a trois, but to be totally honest, they're just too much work. You feel like some kind of gay party host, walking around with a clipboard going, ‘OK, how are we doing over here? Is everyone all right for cock? Who needs some more finger bangs?' You never get to relax. I can barely satisfy one girl. Doubling my work is no fun."
—Craig Rivers, 34

OMFG!!! :afterbuzz:

new sig... so tempting...

[blewmymindblank]

‘OK, how are we doing over here? Is everyone all right for cock? Who needs some more finger bangs?'

I could definitely see that as a good sig :yes:

&nbsp;

In fact, I'm sigless *ponders stealing Cort's idea*

[Gizmo]

you can have it. :)

I'm feeling generous today.

[blewmymindblank]

:smooch:

[Gizmo]

I still don't see the sig... :shady:

don't abuse my generosity. People (and their great-aunt Helens) regret it when they abuse my generosity... :shady:





:D

[Gizmo]

okay that's better. ;)

[LadyJ]

I see it! I see it!

[rajdeep]

It's like organizing a wedding for a very religious Sikh. It takes a lot of planning, a lot of luck, and a shitload of lies.

:spit:

[BgBlkGuy]

I have had some 3 somes in my day. The guy is doing way too much. It's hard to have one on your face and the other on your jimmy and work them both. The girl on your jimmy is going to take care of herself regardless. You have to really concentrate on the one sitting on your face. I call this posistion the "trifecta" And the girls still have hands free to do just about whatever. Work smarter not harder!!! :leon:

[blewmymindblank]

i feel as though this sig will inspire a new avatar as well

[KittyBleu]

Hm...

Note to Weirdos: My first post is NOT an invite. Please notice that I stress BOOBIES....and am not yet at a point in my current relationship to start invitin' people in...he's MINE! :D

I also think the main question to a threesome is this: Exactly HOW MUCH do you want to share body fluids with other folks?

Depends?

[LexxLuther]

:specialed: ...for Frylock!

[Wickity]

Originally posted by blewmymindblank
i feel as though this sig will inspire a new avatar as well


You flashing the shocker?

[Gizmo]

it's probably that "all positions available" sign that they have at Spencers with the stick people...

[blewmymindblank]

don't have one of me flashing the shocker, and I'm a bit more original than that cortney...thank you :neener:

[KittyBleu]

Frylock rawks my world.

:respect:

[ggfab]

Originally posted by WanderingStarz
This is my favorite exerpt from the article

&quot;I've had a few ménages a trois, but to be totally honest, they're just too much work. You feel like some kind of gay party host, walking around with a clipboard going, ‘OK, how are we doing over here? Is everyone all right for cock? Who needs some more finger bangs?' You never get to relax. I can barely satisfy one girl. Doubling my work is no fun.&quot;
—Craig Rivers, 34


:delirious:

Girl you kill me!!:afterbuzz:

I find this to be the truest of all...everyone's all over the place.

I can almost imagine from an outsider perspective it must look like an animated catfight...a big circle or ball of gyrating flesh.

I also think the equation must involve a 'capable' guy that BOTH girls are attracted to...not just an extra piece of meat we like to call 'male'...

[LexxLuther]

Originally posted by Wickity



You flashing the shocker?


I am...... sideshowbob.darkravers.net/cubik010804/SSB2687.JPG

Holla!

[blewmymindblank]

Originally posted by blewmymindblank
and I'm a bit more original than that cortney

like I said...just a bit more original :D

[LexxLuther]

Originally posted by KittyBleu
Frylock rawks my world.

:respect:


It's all about mastershake for me!:thumbsup:

[LadyJ]

Originally posted by blewmymindblank


like I said...just a bit more original :D
Chick looks like she's getting choked or something!

[korbendallas]

i enjoyed the ones I had...but yeah..it's tough when the ppl involved have feelings for one of the other ppl involved. tends to cause lots of problems. :-/

[blewmymindblank]

http://img.villagephotos.com/p/2003-11/498277/pic28145.jpg

&nbsp;

village photos sucks da cock

[LadyJ]

The owner of that file has exceeded their daily usage limit.

[LexxLuther]

More original than this..... http://sideshowbob.darkravers.net/cubik010804/index2.html#SSB_2687.JPG

9th row down, last picture!

[blewmymindblank]

closer to being as original as this: http://sideshowbob.darkravers.net/cubik0912/SSB_7596.JPG

[LadyJ]

ahhhhhh.....:delirious:

[LexxLuther]

werd!

[blewmymindblank]

http://f1.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/blewmymindblank/detail?.dir=/My+Pics&.dnm=pic28145.jpg

[Electric Head]

Originally posted by ggfab


I can almost imagine from an outsider perspective it must look like an animated catfight...a big circle or ball of gyrating flesh.



For some reason, this little tidbit reminds me of the threesome scene, speeded up, in A Clockwork Orange.

[ggfab]

I 'mem that pic and that night Brock!! hell yeah!!

:woot: Did you get lucky???? :tarvis:


:wink:

[blewmymindblank]

me...get lucky....bwahahahahahahahahah *breathes* hahahahahahahahahahahah

[Wickity]

Hahahaha. Brock., that pic rules...

[ggfab]

Stop your nonsense and all this cockiness!!!

We all know what a stud you are...I shouldn't have asked! :badkitty:

[ggfab]

He actually STENCILED THAT SHIT!!! :haha: bbbwawyyyayahhhhhhahahhah!

[blewmymindblank]

it was a bitch too...took like 2 hours or some shit...ok maybe more like 1 :gotme:

[LexxLuther]

It was worth it though....looks like some SnM shit...dank though!

[ggfab]

Brock, Have I told you how talented you are today?:shrug:

[Gizmo]

which one's the woman? :confused:

cool though.

[KittyBleu]

Originally posted by Electric Head


For some reason, this little tidbit reminds me of the threesome scene, speeded up, in A Clockwork Orange.

:haha:

Just when you think they're done...NOPE!

[blewmymindblank]

Originally posted by ggfab
Brock, Have I told you how talented you are today?:shrug:

aww :smooch: :D


Originally posted by Gizmo
which one's the woman? :confused:

cool though.


That's for you to decide :tarvis:

[Electric Head]

Originally posted by KittyBleu


:haha:

Just when you think they're done...NOPE!

YES! I LOVE it that the girls keep trying to get dressed and as soon as one's done, he gets her back in bed.

See, it can be fun. All this talk's making me want to hook up with two x-ed out bi-sexual raver girls......

But where oh where could I find that? Hmmm.....

[LexxLuther]

Originally posted by Electric Head


YES! I LOVE it that the girls keep trying to get dressed and as soon as one's done, he gets her back in bed.

See, it can be fun. All this talk's making me want to hook up with two x-ed out bi-sexual raver girls......

But where oh where could I find that? Hmmm.....


:touchmymonkey: :wtf: :werd:

[ggfab]

:badkitty: We're all gonna be a little tainted after work today...too bad it's not Thursday!! 3 for 3 at the warf rat always takes the edge off!!

Bastard Tuesday's:fu:


:shady:

[Milkman John]

Originally posted by ggfab
:badkitty: We're all gonna be a little tainted after work today...too bad it's not Thursday!! 3 for 3 at the warf rat always takes the edge off!!

Bastard Tuesday's:fu:


:shady:


hehehe

you said taint

hehehe

[blewmymindblank]

Taint of Love?

[Milkman John]

btw, don't have 3somes with people you love...jealousy is a bitch to work out once it's over...really fucks the relationship up...

but if you can get 2 strippers to give a toy show while you jerk off over them, then by all means, go for it....

[Electric Head]

Originally posted by Fingerprint
btw, don't have 3somes with people you love...jealousy is a bitch to work out once it's over...really fucks the relationship up...

but if you can get 2 strippers to give a toy show while you jerk off over them, then by all means, go for it....

This is true. I knew I fell out of love with the ex when I started thinking of ways to approach the issue of bringing another woman. Asking "What will make you happy...you need a g/f too?" while in an argument doesn't work. In case any of you were thinking of using it.

[ggfab]

Originally posted by Fingerprint
btw, don't have 3somes with people you love...jealousy is a bitch to work out once it's over...really fucks the relationship up...

but if you can get 2 strippers to give a toy show while you jerk off over them, then by all means, go for it....

JOHN!! You are a BIG NASSY PERV!!

and I miss ya honay! :D

But just becuz you go around 'FISTING' and making this unatural life of sexual scandal your own...doesn't mean it's a liveable lifestyle for all!!

CAPICHE?!

Now, when are we having this 'hot n bothered' hottub party?!?!@

:hmm:

[elad]

:siihp:

[ggfab]

Originally posted by Electric Head


This is true. I knew I fell out of love with the ex when I started thinking of ways to approach the issue of bringing another woman. Asking &quot;What will make you happy...you need a g/f too?&quot; while in an argument doesn't work. In case any of you were thinking of using it.

Pi-amp!

Ur pm box is stacked- check it.

Someone would answer the question as ...
Hmmm. I'm not quite sure if I should start talking dirty or what? :wink:

[Gizmo]

Originally posted by blewmymindblank
Taint of Love?

sometimes I feel I've got to... *bang bang*

Run away, I've got to... *bang bang*

get away from the pain you drive into the _______ of me!


:afterbuzz: I love the new getup!

[KittyBleu]

:lovemachine:

<--- now taking applications for HOTel cORAL esSEX from Raver Bunnies..
:delirious:

[Milkman John]

Originally posted by ggfab


JOHN!! You are a BIG NASSY PERV!!

and I miss ya honay! :D

But just becuz you go around 'FISTING' and making this unatural life of sexual scandal your own...doesn't mean it's a liveable lifestyle for all!!

CAPICHE?!

Now, when are we having this 'hot n bothered' hottub party?!?!@

:hmm:


i'm having one right now....

mmmm hot tub

[ggfab]

Originally posted by Fingerprint



i'm having one right now....

mmmm hot tub

It's pretty warm out too...I know you are downstair, ya lil :liar:!!

When's the last time you all used it? I'm about to come over right now and ...oh, gawd- these damn pornographic thoughts!!

:glcaroline:


:smurf:

[Milkman John]

last time i used it was last tuesday

with a redhead

mmmmm redheads.....

[Electric Head]

Originally posted by ggfab


Pi-amp!

Ur pm box is stacked- check it.

Someone would answer the question as ...
Hmmm. I'm not quite sure if I should start talking dirty or what? :wink:

I know....see what happens when I try to work during posting hours?

[ggfab]

john- I didn't ask who you clouded the bastard up with- I said "WHEN?" :shadyfu:


Lance -Did you get the reply to your last one on here?

[ggfab]

:D

It's been freezin' man...how do you do it??? Is it that warm in the hot tub that the outside temp variant doesn't interfere?

[KittyBleu]

We're not talking about knockin' boots in hot tubs are we? I can't imagine that the chlorine would feel good in the cookie........

[LexxLuther]

Originally posted by KittyBleu
We're not talking about knockin' boots in hot tubs are we? I can't imagine that the chlorine would feel good in the cookie........


:afterbuzz:

only one way to find out!

[ggfab]

Eeeegad! "cookie"

not a good 'bedroom' word.:nono:

[blewmymindblank]

I dunno about chlorine, but I do know that water dissipates a woman's natural lubrication...that shit doesn't work unless you're a toothpick

[LexxLuther]

Whats a good "bedroom word"?

[LexxLuther]

Wanna polish my bedroom etiquette for business!

[Valencia Styles]

monogamy is the way to go....

[ggfab]

cock and susie.

:ontome:

[ggfab]

:afterbuzz: *dies* :badkitty:

actually, i can't think of any...there isn't a universal vocabulary...it depends on the moment, Lex.

Capiche?

[BuzzCat]

Originally posted by bboyneko
3sums have to be for FUN..period..like playing a game of monopoly or cow tipping..no point other than having fun..if you take it too seriously or try to throw romance into it is when it goes wrong agreed.

bingo.

<--experience fair share of such.

Always with people i knew and loved and we were all very secure in our places. It definitly brought us closer while at the same time we just did it for fun, and there nothing akward afterwards.

[LexxLuther]

Originally posted by Valencia Styles
monogamy is the way to go....


to each his own!

*adds susie to "good bedroom words"*

[BuzzCat]

Originally posted by Valencia Styles
monogamy is the way to go....

that's what I'm doing now per my new boyfriends request. :smooch:

[LexxLuther]

Originally posted by ggfab
:afterbuzz: *dies* :badkitty:

actually, i can't think of any...there isn't a universal vocabulary...it depends on the moment, Lex.

Capiche?


Capiche!...i'm actually kind of witty in the bedroom, but you gotta be that way in my kind of business!

i aim to please!

[ggfab]

Originally posted by LexxLuther


*adds susie to &quot;good bedroom words&quot;*

:haha:

Oh that would be the worst...

I truly cannot think of any good bedroom words...that I'm not too embarassed to say.

[ggfab]

What BUSINESS are you in>?? *curious* jeez.

[LexxLuther]

PM them to me then!

[blewmymindblank]

susie?!? Is this 1950?

[LexxLuther]

Originally posted by ggfab
What BUSINESS are you in&gt;?? *curious* jeez.




that's undisclosable on this board, but I guess I please woman, for a living...... :lick: :lovemachine: :censored: and all that good stuff!

[ggfab]

Originally posted by blewmymindblank
susie?!? Is this 1950?

:haha:


OMG!! lol- tell me some good words brock...helpasistaout!:D

[hue-e]

had a couple... thought they were fun, might try it again if the circumstances were right...

but it has to be nearly perfect spontanious timing IMO.

[Muramasa]

Threesome sex is awesome, with the right people.

A threesome relationship, however, is really hard to make work. The problem obviously comes when two people want to break up from each other, but stay with the third, etc...

:shrug:

[blewmymindblank]

I've always been partial to "love pot" or "hot box":afterbuzz:

[tigermomma]

:doh:

I worry about you guys sometimes

:ontome:

[ggfab]

Hey!! this thread has managed to make us ALL sexually frustrated!!! Don't think we aren't accomplishing things in here..mmkay! :hypnotized:

[KiKiXOXO]

I would never want to see the look on my boyfriend's face as he screws another chick! That would kill me.

[LexxLuther]

Originally posted by KiKiXOXO
I would never want to see the look on my boyfriend's face as he screws another chick! That would kill me.


:bookonraves: :afterbuzz:

[KiKiXOXO]

Is that the look?

[LexxLuther]

I guess...we want to avoid that right?

[KiKiXOXO]

I don't know. Do you?

[LexxLuther]

Welll, hopefully it never happens to u.

[KiKiXOXO]

I think I can make sure of that!

[LexxLuther]

true.

[badkitty3804]

3 somes are good for some people and suck for other. It's sex...everyone has thier cup 'o tea.

Some people try and enjoy bondage, some try it and cry, some try it and call the cops, some try it and do it wrong and kill someone.:shrug:

There are some odd fetishes out there, and hell, I think some of them are :beaker:, but eh, someone obviously likes them. Same goes for 3 somes.

[BlondiElaina]

I triple kissed to gay guys... and I would have rather kissed one person. I think it is more exciting to just kiss one person. It does get too complax

[era one]

don't do it with a girl you love :lessthanthree: , it always gets messy afterwards

[KiKiXOXO]

Ewwww, messy!

[sirenofthestorm]

3some are terribly difficult to set up and er manage with shy/unsure participants.
The idea makes for great fantasys and the hope that some day...it may be a great experience.
I may never stop looking for an opportunity but it does nto drive me to meet people.
I have become very Zen on the whole matter having so many failed and pathetic attempts.

[ggfab]

Originally posted by BuzzCat


that's what I'm doing now per my new boyfriends request. :smooch:

Where does one find one of these?:glcaroline:

[El Magnifico]

Some people can drive well while talking on the phone, changing CDs and eating a burger...and some people can barely drive at all. :gotme:

[korbendallas]

Originally posted by sirenofthestorm
3some are terribly difficult to set up and er manage with shy/unsure participants.
The idea makes for great fantasys and the hope that some day...it may be a great experience.
I may never stop looking for an opportunity but it does nto drive me to meet people.
I have become very Zen on the whole matter having so many failed and pathetic attempts.

alcohol....making threesomes possible since b.c. :D

[El Magnifico]

Originally posted by KittyBleu
:lovemachine:

&lt;--- now taking applications for HOTel cORAL esSEX from Raver Bunnies..
:delirious:

:haha:

"Revenge of the Nerds" Reference!

[ggfab]

Originally posted by El Magnifico
Some people can drive well while talking on the phone, changing CDs and eating a burger...and some people can barely drive at all. :gotme:

nice analogy!:D

[El Magnifico]

Thank ya! :wave:

[ggfab]

:kapluto:

[RITMGuy]

My g/f won't let me have a threesome, unless it's with alyssa milano. SO since that will never happen, I'm left out of this one.

[flasherred]

GIRL 3 SOMES RAWK.

[tigermomma]

Especially when you can watch...

Right Shannon? :tarvis:

[Electric Head]

I so want to be in a 3 girl 3-some right about now!

[tigermomma]

:haha:

That would draw the conclusion that you are a girl though.

:hmm:

[Mitaic]

Originally posted by DeliriumDneRite
3-somes kind of suck. Someone always gets semi left out. Especially if you're doing any actual sex. I advise always doing things in even numbers...that way you can all play together, and you can pair off for the actual screwing.


Why does the picture of a benzene ring pop into my mind when I read that? I 'm such a nerd.

[Pocho]

When I had a 3sum it was one of the most mind-blowing things Ive ever done..not lame in the slightest. This guy must have had a very bad 3sum.

They are hard to set up tho for the average person, so that much is true.

:majorBS:

[maynard]

"I actually like it being two guys on a girl better than two girls and a guy. I thought it was going to be odd to be naked with another man but it's not at all. It's like two guys digging a ditch. You don't look up at the other guy or try to touch his shovel. You just roll up your sleeves and focus on the hole."

:haha:

[Pocho]

:haha:

who said that? lol

[Chrississippi]

"I've had a few ménages a trois, but to be totally honest, they're just too much work. You feel like some kind of gay party host, walking around with a clipboard going, ‘OK, how are we doing over here? Is everyone all right for cock? Who needs some more finger bangs?' You never get to relax. I can barely satisfy one girl. Doubling my work is no fun."
—Craig Rivers, 34

"Unless she's a complete porn queen and loves having both holes plugged or she is so skilled she can easily give great head while getting her brains fucked out you're basically wasting your time. You end up acting like two horny orangutans trying to make one girl into two."
—JP Riley, 29


:haha: :haha: :haha:


I think this is funniest thing I've read on the board, EVAR. Seriously.

[RAMIRO]

what is it with the revival of all these old threads..

is there not enough crazy as it ?

:shrug:


damn..
maybe we all need to step up the crazy factor!

keep peeps entertained



* makes some calls *

[Jewcus]

the fact that tiggermama posted here made me throw up a little in my mouth just now

[Pocho]

what is it with the revival of all these old threads..

is there not enough crazy as it ?

:shrug:


damn..
maybe we all need to step up the crazy factor!

keep peeps entertained



* makes some calls *

It's ironic how people are complaing about old thread revivals, yet they can't resist the urge to post in one. how funny.

[Jewcus]

its because we miss the old days. whatever happened to that pizzatheslut asshole anyway

[LitainCognita]

the fact that tiggermama posted here made me throw up a little in my mouth just now

you're so mean.




ok well not really...now that I remember her. *Ahem*

[Kitsune Fugazzi]

Threeesomes are awesome. I get to enjoy one every time I spend the weekend with the two guys I'm dating. lol

[Jewcus]

you're so mean.




ok well not really...now that I remember her. *Ahem*

i also got to the see toys she left in laurens bag when lauren said "you know what, fuck it, just take the bag. i dont want it anymore"

[RAMIRO]

that to add to the crazy

come on man.. im doing my part!

:neener:

[Pocho]

Threeesomes are awesome. I get to enjoy one every time I spend the weekend with the two guys I'm dating. lol you're such a man slut....:neener:

[Kitsune Fugazzi]

i also got to the see toys she left in laurens bag when lauren said "you know what, fuck it, just take the bag. i dont want it anymore"

:haha: :haha:

[Kitsune Fugazzi]

you're such a man slut....:neener:

I'd be a slut if we weren't in a relationship...lol

Actually...who am I kidding...I'm totally a man slut...

I drill more holes than a texas oil prospector.

[Pocho]

I'd be a slut if we weren't in a relationship...lol

Actually...who am I kidding...I'm totally a man slut...

I drill more holes than a texas oil prospector.

lol...oh man....I just snorted while laughing.... lol

[wun22]

threesomes only suck if they are planned...

the completely random act of Ménage à trois is fucking awesome..

need some help?...go to vegas with your girlfriend (or any female friend for that matter), drink heavily, wait for it...

actually, scratch that, threesomes never suck

[DJKean]

threesomes only suck if they are planned...

the completely random act of Ménage à trois is fucking awesome..

need some help?...go to vegas with your girlfriend (or any female friend for that matter), drink heavily, wait for it...

actually, scratch that, threesomes never suck


Agreed. I was reading this and got absolutely comfused. There has never been a time where one has sucked.

[Jewcus]

Agreed. I was reading this and got absolutely comfused. There has never been a time where one has sucked.

bullshit. threesomes are WAY more trouble than their worth. i can only think of ONE. thats it, just one, that didnt end in drama.

[phunkphreaker]

bullshit. threesomes are WAY more trouble than their worth. i can only think of ONE. thats it, just one, that didnt end in drama.



agreed. If your in a LTR 3somes are no bueno.

But if your single... have at it!


ALso 2 guys 1 chick = no bueno in my book as well. I just cant fuck is there is another visible penix in the room.

[DJKean]

agreed. If your in a LTR 3somes are no bueno.

But if your single... have at it!


ALso 2 guys 1 chick = no bueno in my book as well. I just cant fuck is there is another visible penix in the room.


Yeah, I just say "no" to sword fighting!

And agreed, if you are with someone, then no, it isnt gonna be right, but random "strange" - always a good time.

No more for me though - retired from my 3some days.

[Jewcus]

now the question is, how many buzzboarders have the threesomes been exchanged

[DJKean]

now the question is, how many buzzboarders have the threesomes been exchanged


Good question!

:popcorn:

[Kitsune Fugazzi]

Yeah, I just say "no" to sword fighting!

And agreed, if you are with someone, then no, it isnt gonna be right, but random "strange" - always a good time.

No more for me though - retired from my 3some days.

You know...I think it's funny how insecure most straight guys are that they can't even stand to see another penis let alone be near one.

[Funshine]

bullshit. threesomes are WAY more trouble than their worth. i can only think of ONE. thats it, just one, that didnt end in drama.

Off the top of my head? I can think of two :shrug:

[MarkyMark]

<--- would still like to get it on with two girls. :yes:

Just once, to check it off the list. :D

Geez, is this a thread from the vaults?

<---- would love to get it on with two guys... or more! :yes::yes::yes:

[Jewcus]

Off the top of my head? I can think of two :shrug:

who's the second?

[Funshine]

LOL. Got some stalking to do?

[Kitsune Fugazzi]

Off the top of my head? I can think of two :shrug:

I personally know tons of them...however, it's much more common amoung gay men...particularly bears.

[maynard]

You know...I think it's funny how insecure most straight guys are that they can't even stand to see another penis let alone be near one.

I can stand to see them, or even maybe be near them. I just have no desire to fuck a girl at the same time as another one.

[Funshine]

I personally know tons of them...however, it's much more common amoung gay men...particularly bears.
Yeah, I hate to admit it, but girls are frakking DRAMATIC.

I know, I know.. shocker, right?

[Jewcus]

I can stand to see them, or even maybe be near them. I just have no desire to fuck a girl at the same time as another one.

whatever, id totally rail a chick with grizz if he was into it. id hi five him the entire time

[Kitsune Fugazzi]

whatever, id totally rail a chick with grizz if he was into it. id hi five him the entire time

I'd have a threeway involving a chick. Tried to instigate a few actually, but it's not her I'll be entering.

Honestly, I'd say I've done it already, but when you're in college and there's like 20 naked people in the bed, you just stop asking questions and instead start searching for a warm hole.

[MarkyMark]

I'd have a threeway involving a chick. Tried to instigate a few actually, but it's not her I'll be entering.

;)

[MarkyMark]

whatever, id totally rail a chick with grizz if he was into it. id hi five him the entire time

HOT!

[velvetgoldmire]

I'd have a threeway involving a chick. Tried to instigate a few actually, but it's not her I'll be entering.

There you go, Lucas. Apparently Grizz is into it. Now the question is are you able to give a guy a high five while being the recipient of a reach-around?

[Jewcus]

There you go, Lucas. Apparently Grizz is into it. Now the question is are you able to give a guy a high five while being the recipient of a reach-around?

i dont know if i could bend that far back or not. whats the chick doing while this is going on?

[Mychael]

whatever, id totally rail a chick with grizz if he was into it. id hi five him the entire time

I'd have a threeway involving a chick. Tried to instigate a few actually, but it's not her I'll be entering.

Honestly, I'd say I've done it already, but when you're in college and there's like 20 naked people in the bed, you just stop asking questions and instead start searching for a warm hole.

Looks like someone is gettin' some bear love tonight!

[velvetgoldmire]

i dont know if i could bend that far back or not. whats the chick doing while this is going on?

If I could reach through this computer and slap you, I would.

[Funshine]

:afterbuzz:

[MarkyMark]

i dont know if i could bend that far back or not. whats the chick doing while this is going on?

My dirty mind tells me that you are being sandwiched in this operation...

Look out behind YOOOOOO ;)

[Jewcus]

If I could reach through this computer and slap you, I would.

:hilarious: oh wait, grizz is railing me? no, no hi fiving. id be in too much pain. ive heard about his wangus

[MarkyMark]

:hilarious: oh wait, grizz is railing me? no, no hi fiving. id be in too much pain. ive heard about his wangus

It's either that or you're sucking his wangus while plowing the female...

can you handle that, Jewcas??

[Jewcus]

It's either that or you're sucking his wangus while plowing the female...

can you handle that, Jewcas??

couple pills, some alchohol who knows what could happen

[MarkyMark]

couple pills, some alchohol who knows what could happen

;) ;) ;)

[Mychael]

couple pills, some alchohol who knows what could happen

Uh oh I think mark is trying to get a piece of you now.

Damn Lucas you're turning into some in demand gay bait.

[Kitsune Fugazzi]

couple pills, some alchohol who knows what could happen

Note to self.

[Mychael]

Note to self.

Uh-Oh hes gunnin for ya now Lucas. Hope you have some painkillers and an ice pack for tomorrow.

[Kitsune Fugazzi]

:hilarious: oh wait, grizz is railing me? no, no hi fiving. id be in too much pain. ive heard about his wangus

He told you that? I didn't realize he got that detailed. lol

[Pocho]

Uh-Oh hes gunnin for ya now Lucas. Hope you have some painkillers and an ice pack for tomorrow.


lol @ painkillers. omg you guys are insane.

[Kitsune Fugazzi]

Uh-Oh hes gunnin for ya now Lucas. Hope you have some painkillers and an ice pack for tomorrow.

I live in Denver. I think he's safe. It's big, but it ain't transcontinental.

[MarkyMark]

Uh oh I think mark is trying to get a piece of you now.

Damn Lucas you're turning into some in demand gay bait.

Lol, no. I tried that 2.5 years ago. Get with the program Mychael!

[Jewcus]

He told you that? I didn't realize he got that detailed. lol

its amazing the things you talk about when properly motivated.

[Mychael]

Lol, no. I tried that 2.5 years ago. Get with the program Mychael!

:sillyme:

[MarkyMark]

lol @ painkillers. omg you guys are insane.

Pain killers?? For WHAT?

All you need is some good lube and afterwards it's feels very good ;)

[Kitsune Fugazzi]

its amazing the things you talk about when properly motivated.

Well...long as he was singing the praises...I'm happy.

[Chrississippi]

This thread is gay.

[Jewcus]

This thread is gay.

it can always get worse

[Chrississippi]

we'd need pics for that.

[MarkyMark]

we'd need pics for that.

your request is my command!

<img src = "http://farm1.static.flickr.com/21/27186807_403b07c22f_o.jpg" height=500>

[Jewcus]

that looks like bobby

[Chrississippi]

that looks like bobby

the bouncer from Nation?


Cause I dated him. people said he was bi, but there was no proof.

[MarkyMark]

the bouncer from Nation?


Cause I dated him. people said he was bi, but there was no proof.

Does he work at Town now?

[Kitsune Fugazzi]

we'd need pics for that.

I got yer ghey right here...

http://a195.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/120/l_12320a93b0e3f83d7a2a3b53f0a31e92.jpg

[bscarry]

HULK SMASH!!!!

Hulk no need threesome!!
http://homepage.mac.com/sotocolor/.Pictures/MARADVHULK001_COV.jpg


*poof*

[Chrississippi]

Does he work at Town now?

I have no idea.

[Chrississippi]

here's a pic.

[tmpst]

nevermind! this is old as shit.

[BPMninja]

http://www.dieselsweeties.com/hstrips/0/2/0/4/02045.png

lol.

[MarkyMark]

http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y218/PhoenixPie/Bobby.jpg


here's a pic.

Oh Bobby my buddy! He worked at Nation?

Must have been years and years ago. He never mentioned it to me.

[MarkyMark]

the bouncer from Nation?


Cause I dated him. people said he was bi, but there was no proof.

Now I can answer the second part. He is bi, he told me.
He used to go to Velvet and Sunday Mass occasionally, that's where we MET. ;)

[elad]

:siihp:

[MarkyMark]

:siihp:

Stupid question. What is siihp?

[jbee]

Oh lord. What is going on in here?

[The Logic Theorist]

Oh lord. What is going on in here?

It's Pride weekend on the buzzboard.

:tmyk:

[jbee]

When is the parade?

[The Logic Theorist]

:dan: :buttsex: :dan: :buttsex: :dan: :buttsex: :dan: :buttsex: :dan: :buttsex: :dan: :buttsex: :dan: :buttsex:

[jbee]

:dan: :buttsex: :dan: :buttsex: :dan: :buttsex: :dan: :buttsex: :dan: :buttsex: :dan: :buttsex: :dan: :buttsex:

:delirious:

[Chrississippi]

Oh Bobby my buddy! He worked at Nation?

Must have been years and years ago. He never mentioned it to me.

I don't think that was a time period he was particularly proud of. I know I'm not. Not because of him, but because things were so crazy back in the day.

Now I can answer the second part. He is bi, he told me.
He used to go to Velvet and Sunday Mass occasionally, that's where we MET. ;)

:werd:

[Midnight_Junglest]

I am all about just you and the one you love. Forget the threesomes. Its not sexy at all. Its more unattractive then anything to tell you the truth. I dont want someone else taking charge or taking over and I just sit there and try to think I enjoy it.