feeling bad for bitching out a friend...

[Julierose]

okay, so I started a thread a few weeks back about the guy who needs to get over me and I was looking for advice blah blah blah... well most of you told me to get rid of him and I ignored it for awhile but finally I couldnt take it anymore so I sent him an e-mail. Now I feel all bad about it... Here's the e-mail...

Is this the only time you're going to hear from me? No, ya know what, maybe you wont hear from me at all for awhile. I'm sick of your insecure, 'I'm so misunderstood,' pitty poor me bullshit. I'm also sick of you trying to find out things about my life that are none of your damn business. You really need to go and get a life of your own insted of worrying about mine. Get a job, move on with your life insted of just sitting there on your computer all day worrying about the past and thinking you are elite. You wanna know if you are blocked? Now you are. Everytime we talk you get all hung up on the past. Sorry I have enough shit going on in my life without you giving me this crap about where our relationship went wrong and the such. I dont have time to worry about the past. The past is over and thats that. You and I will never again be together, but you knew that anyway i think. Sorry if this all seems nasty but you're pissing me off. I do have a job to do and if I dont have time for IM's I dont answer and you seem to take it all personally. Its not like that. When I'm busy I dont answer. I do it to everybody, not just you but I cant deal with you constantly IM'ing me and then getting pissed off and depressed when I don't answer. Your constant persistance of the issue has made me ignore you recently. I was told to stay away from you for your own good and mine but I ignored it... I'm not going to ignore that warning anymore. Look, I DONT HATE YOU or anything I just dont think that it is healthy for us to be in contact right now, you obviously have some issues that you need to resolve and I cant help you with that mostly because I know at least some of your issues are with me. I thought you were ready for us to talk again, I guess i was wrong. Happy holidays and all, maybe we'll talk after the new year or something...

~J

I dont know what I really want anyone to say about this but i needed to get it out there so maybe I wont feel so guilty for saying all that... Its all true but I think I might have gone about it poorly...:not agaaain:

[bboyneko]

its funny..the first half of the email you are letting out repressed anger..2nd half you change tones since you calm down and are like:

Stop talking to me I hate you!
anyway IM me anytime! luv ya!

You cant send mixed signals, decide what you need to do and do it, you shouldnt make a descision until you are commited to the descision. If you wanna talk to him talk to him, if you dont dont, but dont go all lukewarm about it when talking to him, youll confuse him and yourself.

[Julierose]

last thread (http://www.buzzlife.com/mssg_brd/showthread.php?s=&threadid=26177)

well check out the last thread and then we'll talk about how I change tones... I dont want the kid to go jump off a bridge or anything...

[bboyneko]

I read the last thread and was involved in the discussion there.

and again the advice stands: It's not fair for him to string you along emotionally at the threat of killing himself, if hes that fucked up hell as soon kill himself over spilt milk, for you to bear some sort of weight on you that if you say something wrong hes dead is not fair period.

But its your life and your descision, as much as you explain it to us we still don't know him or you liek you do, so in the end it's your choice :)

[Julierose]

I know, which is why i always take the advice I get from the board members with a grain of salt... Its true that if he's gonna do it he's gonna do it but thats how I felt... I wrote and sent that in one stream on conciousness, like free writing ya know, no editing alowed... I dont know... :sadblue:

[Julierose]

Originally posted by bboyneko

Stop talking to me I hate you!
anyway IM me anytime! luv ya!



:haha: sorry, delayed reaction...

[Yakko Red]

Originally posted by Julierose
okay, so I started a thread a few weeks back about the guy who needs to get over me and I was looking for advice blah blah blah... well most of you told me to get rid of him and I ignored it for awhile but finally I couldnt take it anymore so I sent him an e-mail. Now I feel all bad about it... Here's the e-mail...

Is this the only time you're going to hear from me? No, ya know what, maybe you wont hear from me at all for awhile. I'm sick of your insecure, 'I'm so misunderstood,' pitty poor me bullshit. I'm also sick of you trying to find out things about my life that are none of your damn business. You really need to go and get a life of your own insted of worrying about mine. Get a job, move on with your life insted of just sitting there on your computer all day worrying about the past and thinking you are elite. You wanna know if you are blocked? Now you are. Everytime we talk you get all hung up on the past. Sorry I have enough shit going on in my life without you giving me this crap about where our relationship went wrong and the such. I dont have time to worry about the past. The past is over and thats that. You and I will never again be together, but you knew that anyway i think. Sorry if this all seems nasty but you're pissing me off. I do have a job to do and if I dont have time for IM's I dont answer and you seem to take it all personally. Its not like that. When I'm busy I dont answer. I do it to everybody, not just you but I cant deal with you constantly IM'ing me and then getting pissed off and depressed when I don't answer. Your constant persistance of the issue has made me ignore you recently. I was told to stay away from you for your own good and mine but I ignored it... I'm not going to ignore that warning anymore. Look, I DONT HATE YOU or anything I just dont think that it is healthy for us to be in contact right now, you obviously have some issues that you need to resolve and I cant help you with that mostly because I know at least some of your issues are with me. I thought you were ready for us to talk again, I guess i was wrong. Happy holidays and all, maybe we'll talk after the new year or something...

~J

I dont know what I really want anyone to say about this but i needed to get it out there so maybe I wont feel so guilty for saying all that... Its all true but I think I might have gone about it poorly...:not agaaain:

Is it just me or does the month of december just seem to be a month of miscomunications, things we wish we said differently, and stress?

[housecat]

Don't feel bad if that's how you feel you should say it. Some people need a good slap in the face... sometimes they get it sometimes they don't. :gotme:

[LadyJ]

Originally posted by Yakko Red


Is it just me or does the month of december just seem to be a month of miscomunications, things we wish we said differently, and stress?
Or the month to share a lot of specific personal information with people you don't know?:gotme:

[Yakko Red]

Originally posted by LadyJ

Or the month to share a lot of specific personal information with people you don't know?:gotme:

Such as fisting and red rivers?

[KittyBleu]

You should go hide under a rock! Then he can't find you! Don't forget you can block people from spotting you on those things..that's come in handy for me on more than a few occasions. :D

[tigermomma]

:haha:


Maybe its like therapy?? :shrug:

[LadyJ]

Originally posted by Yakko Red


Such as fisting and red rivers?
As well as personal emails and horrible things you've done to people you "care" about.

[Julierose]

Originally posted by LadyJ

Or the month to share a lot of specific personal information with people you don't know?:gotme:

like I said i just wanted to get it off my chest and sometimes its easier to tell people you dont know than it is to tell people who might go back to him and talk more shit escalating the situation...

and btw, i'm staying way out of the fisting and red rivers threads...

[DNAgirl]

Why is it in light blue?

[Julierose]

would you prefer a different color?

[KittyBleu]

Like Fisting and Red Rivers! :raveon:

[Julierose]

:wtf: Please keep your dirty dirty sex talk off my thread...
fisting and red rivers...sheesh

[asian]

Originally posted by LadyJ

Or the month to share a lot of specific personal information with people you don't know?:gotme:
no shit. what gives?

it would be one thing if this was an anonymous board, reading some of these threads makes me not want to meet people.

*this was not directed at you julierose, it's at people in general*

[Julierose]

thats okay, we dont wanna meet you either...

[asian]

think about it. why would i want to make friends with people who i know will post our entire friendship for people to scrutinize?

message boards, live journals, AIM logs and people who save emails to pore over later creep me out.

[housecat]

:werd: drop it like it's hot.

[bboyneko]

Originally posted by asian
think about it. why would i want to make friends with people who i know will post our entire friendship for people to scrutinize?

message boards, live journals, AIM logs and people who save emails to pore over later creep me out.

"An unexamined life is not worth living."
-- Socrates

http://www.quotedb.com/images/authors/socrates.jpg

[Julierose]

note the orange sarcasm text...
but anyway, i see your point which is why i selectively post certain things. I dont have a live journal, and I only save emails and AIM conversations that could come back to bite me in the ass later... I'm not usually one for posting such stuff but I needed to vent and I did... Its really just this one guy that I post about really cause my b/f would be super jelous if I tried to talk to him about it and I dont want to get people that know the guy I sent the email to involved...

[asian]

the point is to be a little more selective about who you let scrutinize your life. it's not reality tv, it's life.

[asian]

does privacy mean nothing to anyone anymore?

[bboyneko]

"Keep a diary, and someday it'll keep you. "
Mae West

[asian]

julierose, i wasn't directing this at you!!!

what i posted was in reaction to what ladyj said. please do not take this personally...

[Julierose]

simmer down!! its cool, i was just explaining my position on it...
I didnt take it personally... we good...:thumbsup:

[n-root]

Originally posted by asian
think about it. why would i want to make friends with people who i know will post our entire friendship for people to scrutinize?

message boards, live journals, AIM logs and people who save emails to pore over later creep me out.

Well obviously you want to be my friend because when you see me you are like :lessthanthree:

[asian]

yes. of course.

:icicles:

[Muramasa]

There are just many different kinds of people, methinks.

Julie, I know it's easier said than done, but perhaps take it a little easier on him? The guy's having a hard time dealing with this, and seems to need you as a friend whether he likes it or not. Guys do crazy things sometimes, when their feelings get involved. Typically we expect the women that we blame our strife on to be as patient and understanding as they claim to be. For some reason we seem to freak out and get offended, angry, and depressed when the reality that they're only normal people sets in.(As if it were a bad thing, or even their fault, lol. Not that we're any different, either.)
:shrug::D

There's a great deal of people though, whose personalities fall into a rather vast spectrum. Some people don't have a big need for self expression. Some do. I usually find that, oddly enough, people who keep diaries/journals, people who confide in and sometimes rely on others often turn out to be much more loyal friends than those who keep their secrets to themselves. Coincidence? I think not.


And Jessie... where did you get that prostitute quote from?:afterbuzz:

[LadyJ]

Originally posted by tigerjunglist

And Jessie... where did you get that prostitute quote from?:afterbuzz:
ROFL

[n-root]

Originally posted by asian
yes. of course.

:icicles:

:wtf: ?!?!?!?!?!




:crying2:

[Julierose]

Originally posted by tigerjunglist
There are just many different kinds of people, methinks.

Julie, I know it's easier said than done, but perhaps take it a little easier on him? The guy's having a hard time dealing with this, and seems to need you as a friend whether he likes it or not.


See, I kinda felt that way too, which is why I posted the thread... The thing is we broke up over 3 years ago, and on top of that he dumped me... I will never know what to do with this guy...

[housecat]

Originally posted by housecat
drop it like it's hot.

[bboyneko]

jesus christ 3 years ago? There is something seriously mentally wrong with this guy..let go already and stop dragging this poor girl thru mental hell.

[Julierose]

:werd:

[asian]

i got it in my fortue cookie? and yes i know it is not a fortune, but they didn't know any better...
:ontome:

[Muramasa]

:haha:

I love the ones that say nonsensical things like "Your happiness today is great., lucky numbers 2, 37, 888, 12, 54, 60, 96, 100, 32, 45, 666, 808, present this coupon for $5 off admission to six flags"

[punkasschikadee]

hey girl

ive dealt with guys who are the same way and i think you did him great justice by telling him how hes acting and how it makes you feel, it got it off your chest and now its no longer anything you have to worry about between the two of you.
as far as the relationship between the two of you, it seems like it isnt healthy for either of you and maybe it would be best to just cut it off... if he is hurt by it, he'll get over it. seems like hes using the threat of suicide against you and thats plain fucked.
Get faaar far away from this guy.
as far as posting on the board, shes just looking for advice and i dont see whats so wrong with her lookin for it here? :plur:

[Julierose]

Thanks hon.. well he lives in PA and Im in MD.. all he knows is the town, not where in town. He doesnt have my phone number either so I hope this will all be over soon...

[velvetgoldmire]

Originally posted by punkasschikadee

as far as posting on the board, shes just looking for advice and i dont see whats so wrong with her lookin for it here? :plur:
"If we don't learn from our history, we are doomed to repeat it"

Posting personal information on messege boards tends to have a way of coming back and smacking you in the face.

[Julierose]

Originally posted by velvetgoldmire

Posting personal information on messege boards tends to have a way of coming back and smacking you in the face.

Howso? I dont know anybody on this board and I highly doubt he does either... what are you going to do? find out who this guy is and go tell him I was talking about him? I never even mentioned his name... Whatever, I think in this case you are wrong

[velvetgoldmire]

lol... I don't care one way or the other about the situation. That's just fair warning of watching it happen in the past. Personally, I only trust my personal information with people I trust. Why? Because you never know.

[Julierose]

well thanks for the warning but like i said before, while I do post personal information, I am selective about it.

[Muramasa]

Granted, he might not know about this message board, but people have a tendency to talk. If you don't care about that in the slightest, power to you... I should say though, that I'm currently trying to deal with a string of very nasty and very untrue rumors about myself as we speak, and I suspect that the board is to blame, at least partially.

I guess what I'm saying, is that it might be a good idea to be selective of your words. There are a couple of people that like to start shit for the fun of it around here.
:shrug:

[Capital Zero]

anytime you put your business into the hands of the public you are asking for that shit to get spread around. there's no one to blame but yourself.

the internet does not know how to keep a secret... ever.

[MaryAnarchy]

Originally posted by asian
think about it. why would i want to make friends with people who i know will post our entire friendship for people to scrutinize?

message boards, live journals, AIM logs and people who save emails to pore over later creep me out.

bloggers!

i have a live journal. i only post it in when i'm trying to quit smoking
i ramble in it. dont' really post stuff involving other people though.

[Muramasa]

You creep Jessie out, Mary.:D

[MaryAnarchy]

i should post about her in my live journal.

i think i post in it about 3 times a year

[Muramasa]

Like, oh my gawd! I can't wait to read it and tell everyone I know! Whee!

[punkasschikadee]

sewing circle! :specialed:

[Julierose]

Obviously I dont give a fuck... Thank you all for your warnings, since this is my first time on the internet, I didnt know... yes thats right I have been living in a cave with the amish since 1983 so I had never seen the internet before last month. I had no Idea that so many people would be able to see everything I post... Gee maybe I should go back to my cave... this technology thingie sure is complicated...

[bboyneko]

Originally posted by Julierose
Obviously I dont give a fuck... Thank you all for your warnings, since this is my first time on the internet, I didnt know... yes thats right I have been living in a cave with the amish since 1983 so I had never seen the internet before last month. I had no Idea that so many people would be able to see everything I post... Gee maybe I should go back to my cave... this technology thingie sure is complicated...

http://www.brawl-hall.com/gallery/data/media/5/internet_confusing.jpg

[yvonison]

Originally posted by LadyJ

Or the month to share a lot of specific personal information with people you don't know?:gotme:

LOL.

[GiveMeFunkyBeats]

wow...boys suck...and ummm...yeah...woohooo

[MaryAnarchy]

methinks doh is going for her 10 posts this week