the birds and the bees

[betseyxox]

Okay so my friends and I were talking about where we first learned about the birds and the bees. We have a theory that kids whose parents told them are less promiscuous that kids who learned from somewhere else.

[retail]

i was sheltered like :whoa: growing up. but had a good idea of how everything "worked" before dad sat me down one evening for "the TALK"

[sensitiv]

I think i got the talk after i got started. :specialed:

[retail]

so THAT's where you were yesterday :rolleyes:

[badkitty3804]

I found out from porn :shrug:

[retail]

i'm sorry you had to learn on set, emily. how embarrassing :sok:

[badkitty3804]

My shrink said that it brought on my obsession with grabbing asses and boobies. :shrug:





(:jk: I don't see a shrink)

[retail]

what do you make shrink? :hmm:

[badkitty3804]

psychologist. :neener:

[badkitty3804]

BTW, a thread about 'the birds and the bees' is not the best thread to inquire about shrinkage. :shrug:

[keokikim02]

i witnessed it.. at an early age... *shudders*
umm.. yeah...

[DeAtHmOnGeR bEaR]

So I was raised pretty strictly and very much so on the conservitive side....

But I'm... uh........

I enjoy booty :yes:
Yeah, that's a nice way of putting it... booty......... :whip:

[SCHLiTZ]

I was kinda pissed that I never really got "the talk"..... things were always implied, but never said in my household... but sure enough I figured everything out.

Without having "the talk", you don't have the conversational piece of having a truely akward moment with you parents....

[keokikim02]

good lovins is the best.... and being in love with good lovins...nuffin'... now.. absolutely nuffin' can't beat that feeling...

passionate lovins... mmmm~~~ :bravo: :woot:

[HI-NRG]

when i was growing up my parents had these highschool best friends, that live right next door, they had a daughter my age and we grew up together. she was my best friend, and between my dads extensive porn collection and her doll collection her and i played docter alot. i think i was five or six when her and i got down, as nasty as it sounds it was alot of feely touchy. so now the real question is "at what age do you tell your children of this bird and bee business"? i say start em' young i learned from hustler and playboy......dont let your kids turn out like me........

[Julierose]

your theory is pretty interesting. My parents never had 'the talk' with me and i do admit to being fairly promiscuous in my high school years. Its kinda suprising that they didnt now that i think about it being as they are total hippies. (to put it into perspective, i have :spliff: with my parents on multiple occasions, i grew up in an avacado painted room, there is a family picture of us in the early 80's in which we are naked in a bathtub, and they have this habit of peeing with the bathroom door open because 'we are all family') the first time i was really confused about sex was when i was about 8 or 9. I was trying to clean my room at about 3:00am because my parents told me i couldnt go out to play the next day untill it was clean. I either dropped something heavy or banged a wall or something so I quickly shut off the light and jumped into bed. my father came running in to yell at me and all I could see was his siloette as he hollered. He had a raging hard on! I remember thinking to myself..'it's not always that way is it? why is it like that?' it was a few years till i figured it all out.

ewww...

[retail]

*note to self: never visit julierose's parent's house* :chilly:

[Julierose]

lol, they dont to the bathroom thing when there are other people there...

[HI-NRG]

Originally posted by retail
*note to self: never visit julierose's parent's house* :chilly:
i dont know if i agree w/ you....my aunt is a "hippie" and i love going to visit w/ out the parents, its so homey and the whole i guess vibe is comforting.....
your house sounds cool julie.......

[Julierose]

it kinda is obe but at the same time, as a child, you get kinda confused when you visit homes of republicans or religious folk.

[HI-NRG]

yeah i hear ya, probably cause it doesnt have the love, i have a pretty good understandin of your crib....i d pick your house over one of those republicans or religous freaks....

[Julierose]

me too, me too. I guess thats why i got into the whole rave scene in the first place. When you think about it we really are similar to hippies with the whole PLUR concept and all but we dont have a cause like they did.

[HI-NRG]

we have plenty reasons,, definetly not the same but we are fighting a cause to keep our scene alive, we are the hippies of the new....alot of people wouldnt like to hear that but i think its true.....hey that ryhmed, <-----how do you spell that word? w/e what was i sayin? oh yeah julies house rulesssss!!!!!!!!! woot woot.........

[Julierose]

lol rhymed... I think...

I hear ya on the cause, its similar, just not as big as what they were dealing with. Even though we could have a cause that closely mirrors what our (or my anyway) parents believed in, we are the nintendo generation and prefer not to get involved. Wow thats kinda sad when you think about it...

I wanna start a sit in... Who's with me?

BTW:hijack:

[HI-NRG]

dude let me tell ya im a pro at sittin' im there...i can sit like no other, i got my own styles too, ive masterd the art of the indian style,the leg cross, one out one in, the ankle cross, i have plenty of styles like none other......

[Julierose]

Yeah, thats the spirit! I think the sit in thing is out though, I just started a poll insted. However if anyone is in the mood for a good old fashioned protest of the war or other policies, let me know I might be interested..

:woot:

[Muramasa]

.

[betseyxox]

Wow that is all very interesting. Among my friends only one of us got the talk from our parents. Coincidently she's also slept with the least amount of people.

[Jim]

Hobo Joe taught me!

[lupitanahsee]

my mom TRIED to give me the talk but it wound up going something like this:
(i was in 6th grade 11 y/o)
mom:wanna go for a walk?
me:sure
mom: (about 5 min into walk) so you know your gonna see that movie tomorrow at school...right?
me:yeah
mom:ok you have any questions?
me:nope
mom:ok lets go home
me:(thinking in head THANK GOD she didnt push it) ok lets go.

[El Magnifico]

My mom was a nurse, so I got the clinical and science portion while I was a sixth grader (and my own copy of the "Joy of Life" book which I read cover-to-cover and had cool pics in it of :missy:.) My dad hooked me up with porn mags when I got to high school age. I learned a thing or two from "Penthouse Letters," to say the least.

[orangeglow]

My mom sat me down one day and gave me "the talk." Awkwardness abounded.

[Alexis]

I never got the talk

I got a book about where baby's come from, for children

but that was after I had discovered the mother load of old playboy's under my best friends guest bedroom bed

:FUBAR:

[orangeglow]

Oh yea, I was like 10. She also gave me a pamphlet titled "Growing Up and Liking It." It was all 70s colored and fantastic.

[bboyneko]

Bleh..western sexual taboos are ridiculous.

Sexual reproduction is as natural and important to learn about as say, death, eating, germs etc.

Kids need to learn the facts about it from as early as possible. And I say as soon as they turn 9 or 10, let em surf porn on the net or get porn in general.

The less taboo you make sex at an early age, the more normal you make it seem, the less obsessed kids will be about it later.

Take alcohol. In the US it is forbidden until 21. Ridiculous. Puritan prohibtion views..pshh.

Anyway, where I come from (colombia) there is no drinking age. Did this lead to widespread drunk driving at the age of 10? Rampant alcoholism? 10 year olds dying from alcohol poisoning? A degradation in nation-wide morality? Nope. It resulted in people growing up with alcohol viewed as just another drink. Like soda and juice, but with a kick.

See, the minute you make something relatively harmless forbidden and tabboo..kids /teens will OBSESS about it and take it a degree where it does become harmful. here in the US alcohol is regulated to such an extent many people do end up growing up with alcohol problems and binge drinking.


Look at coffee. Its legal for kids to drink. Ban it until your 21 I guarantee you kids with throw big parties with kegs of coffee and drink it down a funnel. Its how kids work.

So yeah, teach em when theyr young, and let them develop a healthy sexuality from an early age. and for gods sake, dont deny them porn! are their eyes going to set ablaze from looking at a naked human body? Are they going to melt from seeing fucking?
:buttsex:

[Nos]

DOOD! I GOTS THIS NEW LATTE BONG! LES BREW UP SOME ESPRESSO AND GET JACKED!

[LordOfThePance]

A human skull bong?

[Charran]

My daycare center had a book about "What happens when mommies and daddies like each other..." I must have been about 4 when I first found out.

[buzzboy]

Okay so my friends and I were talking about where we first learned about the birds and the bees. We have a theory that kids whose parents told them are less promiscuous that kids who learned from somewhere else.
i was five years old when my mom concieved my sister, by the time she was about ready to pop out a fragile precious lil deviant (only way my family can be :evilred:) i was just turning six, and i asked my mom how my sister had gotten in her belly, and furthermore, how would she get out. she said that " when a man and a woman are in love and not just in lust that they decide the next step is to start a family that the man and the woman share a beautiful moment in time and as a gift and sign of life god brought my sister to her stomach, and that in do time she would leave the way she came in. well being a boy and having no concept of a vagina yet, i assumed that my mom would poop my sister out, because i knew that girls didnt have penises because that was why boys and girls have seperate restroom facilities: cause they didnt have penises, so i knew she wasnt gonna get peed out, so i asked my mom how come my sister didnt just fall out when she was pooping and she laughed and i was told that during the glorious and beautiful bond of the man and the woman the man will insert his penis into the womans vagina and if the conditoins are right the man will fertilze the egg and the woman will become pregnant, nine months later a baby is born. you can imagine a 6 year old trying to figure out dad peeing in/on mom and putting fertilizer on an egg and somehow your sister exsists. I only asked her if the baby gets toys till she has to come out...lol

but i didnt really learn from them cause that was sorta confusing... instead i began to develope as a young man and in like the 3rd grade on the way home from school i found a box of playboy magazines on the curb... i had no idea why the fuck these woman were naked and in a publication ...it seemed it would be embarrasing, but at the same time i was like damn, wtf is happening down there... and with in a day or so i was a professional masterbater.

but i wasnt aware that sex was not for youngings. cause well it felt right. so i wasnt even hiding this magazine..lol

i got caught with it and got the real indepth and proper explainatin that i should have got in the beginning.

so im thinking this is why i love Pr0n so much :shrug:

:jerkit: :whoa:

[buzzboy]

oh yeah jose reminded me... after the talk about sex being for adults and not being a lust full thing they made me watch "NOVA ~ The Miracle of life" sometimes now at age 26 i wake up screaming in the middle of the night with the image of a childs head peeping out of this gargantuan cavern and fucking AAAACK! i think this is why I see to it that MY boys dont swim. i never ever ever wanna be on the recieving end of that sight again! :noway:

[badkitty3804]

:shrug:

I never DID get "the talk". Everything I learned, I learned through smudged porn on channels we didn't really get, health Ed., and friends.

I going to make sure that my kids get "the talk", the more embarassing, the better. I think that a banana and apple pie will be needed as 'visuals'.

[blewmymindblank]

"Feels like warm apple pie." :rockon:

"Like homemade, or the ones you get from McDonalds?"

[juicyjay]

haha i think i learned very young as well. but don't remember where. i got the TALK from my parents in like 9th grade. VERY USELESS.

[ravetildawn]

i learned about it all from other kids in school as well as from tv and watching movies i wasn't supposed to watch.

all my parents told me and my brother was to wait til marriage......

so...i'm THIS close to getting a mail-order groom from russia....

[not applicable]

im STILL unsure as to whats going on.


being a virgin kinda deprives you of REALLY understanding it all.

[buzzboy]

im STILL unsure as to whats going on.


being a virgin kinda deprives you of REALLY understanding it all.

i bet pretending to be a virgin gets you laid a lot! :bigpimp:

[not applicable]

if only i were pretending......





one day my luck will change though.....




one day......

[Chef Roy R Dee]

I found my dad's porn video's when I was 5.
Figured it out pretty fast.

[buzzboy]

if only i were pretending......





one day my luck will change though.....




one day......
i could set something up for you, but ehh. you might get some bonuses that you didnt count on. :noway:

[Amalthea]

I found my dad's porn video's when I was 5.
Figured it out pretty fast.
I hear ya .. i found out about it first when i was 5 on the playground at my catholic daycare, then I found the parents' porn stash and toys when i was 6 ... for the longest time those gadgets boggled my mind

[Ink Blot]

i think some girl in class told me about it
and i was like what happens when i put that in there
she was like something is suppose to come out
...pee?
yea... the birds and bees talk didnt carry out well when your like 6 or 7

[i licked JOEYd]

I sorta had "the talk" but I learned more from blurry cable porn.

"wow look at that BOOB!! ...oh doh, that's just an elbow"

[Mokey]

I was told by kids from school, and learned from playing "house" well not the full learning, but the basics. Curious little children.

[not applicable]

lmao.


house.



classic.


















you whore.

[KiKiXOXO]

My Mom gave me a book to read & then said that she wanted me to be a virgin when I get married. Hahahahahahahahahahaha.

[Mokey]

lmao.


house.



classic.


















you whore.

You're too sweet in the morning :smooch:

[Scoobie-Snax]

Never had the talk......I learned through friends, school and porn.

[BuzzCat]

LIke many others on here, I found dad's stack of mag's. Hardcore mags. I'd go hide with them and just stare at the pictures. They were all those stories just like in video porn. The plumber comes over and fixes the pipes by nailing the half naked chick that answered the door. Mom tried to give me the talk in 7th grade when some boy gave me a $4.99 necklace from Rite Aid. I didn't lose it till late highschool though. It took a while to figure out I wasn't going to have to call the Cable guy or a plumber to get some.

[Scoobie-Snax]

LIke many others on here, I found dad's stack of mag's. Hardcore mags. I'd go hide with them and just stare at the pictures. They were all those stories just like in video porn. The plumber comes over and fixes the pipes by nailing the half naked chick that answered the door. Mom tried to give me the talk in 7th grade when some boy gave me a $4.99 necklace from Rite Aid. I didn't lose it till late highschool though. It took a while to figure out I wasn't going to have to call the Cable guy or a plumber to get some.


:werd: I was totally disappointed when I found out that when you deliver a pizza to a hot woman that she does not immediatly rip your clothes off and start sucking your dick.

[Debbyduh]

i never was told about the birds and the bee's from my parents but when i was like 12 my friend and i were babysitting her neighbors kid and we were looking for a movie to watch and come across a dr ruth tape and we popped her in and she pretty much said it all.....lol

[Nos]

I learned from my father's collection of early 70's era porno.

[Matt Sanborn]

I learned from my father's collection of early 70's era porno.

didnt mean to leave em out like that

my bad

[Nos]

Well its all your fault that I had to learn the hard way that not all women like it when you stick a finger in their ass and call them a dirty, dirty, whore.

[EurotrashEve]

This is how I learned..and it was horrible...
b/c I learned about it when I was 8 years old....

Remember when HBO had cheesy porno and my parents used to record them..I'd hear it then my friend Ryan and I would go into their collection and watch while my parents were out on the beach. Well one day, we stumbled across a vid hidden in the back (it WAS hidden for a reason) and it happened to be a tape of my birth. My friend and I puked more ..than when we first saw jaws and he ate off that womans leg. Since then, I was like no little fuckers are coming outta me..gross.
I am still sticking to the no baby thing..that is what birth control and safe sex thing.
Eventually, my mom did try and talk when I had my first crush at 13....and I told her I saw the vid and grossed me out ...so, the STD's part, I learned from sex ed and Cosmo and Jane articles and friends. Sex is a joke in my household, we joke around about it..but, never really talked seriously about the subject...

[buzzboy]

*singing*

so let me tell you about the birds and the bees, the flowwers and the trees......

:eddie:

[buzzboy]

Well its all your fault that I had to learn the hard way that not all women like it when you stick a finger in their ass and call them a dirty, dirty, whore.
whoa whoa whoa...they all dont like that? i mean the finger in the ass thing. i prefer to use my thumb, that way you can still rest your hand on her lower back.

[LitainCognita]

i learned from my dads porno video, it was marked 'cartoons'....i tell you what, there sure wasnt any fucking cartoons on that one.

[Mandaba]

i never got the talk. however, i did get a talk about how if i were to be a lesbian it would be ok and my parents would still love me. :confused:

[maynard]

when i was in the first grade a kid told our teacher i called him the "f" word. i didn't know what it meant so of course i didn't do it.

but my parents decided to take that opporunity to tell me all about it. the only thing i remember is my mom saying "you know, sex is fun".

that totally creeped me out.

[xpierence]

yeah my dad tried to talk to me, but I just told him dad, I've been tearing heathers ass up, which immediatly led to the question you wearing rubbers? fucking right i said. ok that is all. glaven.

[BestBoardHooker]

I'm pretty sure that I learned it from my parents...it's been too long. I don't remember.

[Cambria]

when i was 13 my sister who was like 22 told me what cum tasted like

[PYVND]

Oh this one's an oldie but a goody.
---
I learned about sex the hard way.

My parents never talked with me about it. My mom told me once to treat girls badly (in so many words). My dad told me that girls change drastically after you marry them, which freaked me the f*ck out for many years.

I hope to set a better example for my children, with some help. I think it makes a difference.

[Pseudo Society]

I learned from my 16 year old babysitter when her boyfriend came over. I don't know how old he was but I do know he was a senior in high school. I was just a wee elementary lad. They showed me the goods and asked what I wanted to see.

I am pretty sure they are both pedofiles now. :ontome:

[A.J.]

Wow, this thread had been around for a while

[MaryAnarchy]

my parents showed me some cartoon video about it.

i am a prude.

well, outside of a serious relationship i am a prude.

[MaryAnarchy]

note: i am not at all suprised by the results of this poll.

[Chicago]

When I was in highschool, senior year, I was with this girl and we were foolin around so I slipped it in and she shot across the bed crying wanting to know why I did that. It took me two weeks to convince the poor girl she wasn't pregnant. Her parents had the talk with her and left her with the impression that just putting it in would make her pregnant. Poor poor girl, She was mad cuz I was laughing the whole time I had to explain how things worked for her. She became a total freak once she learned you could do more than dry hump safely though. :tarvis:

[MaryAnarchy]

laughing at her is really fucking insensitive. i'm suprised she ever put out for you again.

[Chicago]

You had to be there, it was really hard not to laugh and when she finally understood everything she was able to laugh at herself. It was all good.

[MaryAnarchy]

uh..okay

[Chicago]

It was more at the ridiculousness of the situation than "at her". She was genuinely angry because she thought I had purposefully impregnated her.

[MaryAnarchy]

i understand that.

it's cool

i'm just teh cunty today. i blame depo.

[BestBoardHooker]

Wow, this thread had been around for a while

yeah seriously...

holy resurrected thread batman!

[Matt Sanborn]

birds and the bees?

you mean fucking?

[Ink Blot]

^---- are you kidding me?

[L00p33]

I think you are right...those that didn't get taught stuff at home are more apt to find and search and "discover" on their own....


....I would be one that had to "discover" ...damn I was young!!
(oh, and stupid!!)

[L00p33]

birds and the bees?

you mean fucking?

oh, wait...I thought we were talking about science...my bad. :not agaaain:
*takes back thread post*

[xpierence]

I learned from my 16 year old babysitter when her boyfriend came over. I don't know how old he was but I do know he was a senior in high school. I was just a wee elementary lad. They showed me the goods and asked what I wanted to see.

I am pretty sure they are both pedofiles now. :ontome:no. scotty don't

[keokikim02]

i figured it out by witnessing it happen... :nixo:

[i licked JOEYd]

:offtopic:
I think, If a thread is more than 6 months old, it should come with a warning in the first post stating that fact to all future posters. If it's more than a year old it should just be locked or archived and if you want to add something, start a new one.

[Chicago]

I think we should pack this one away and bring it out in dec 2005 just for joey :-P

[MaryAnarchy]

birds and the bees?

you mean fucking?


hard...core..pound...

/kids

[buzzboy]

<-- horney.

[EmmaK]

so i'm in fifth grade ('92 or '93) at the time, and my mom and i were riding the subway. i was looking up and reading the ads and i point at one for condoms and (rather conspicuously) ask what it's all about. after shushing me, we return back to our apartment where she launches into a HUGE discussion of condoms--not some generic things on birth control or run-of-the-mill hetero sex. no, she digs right into a lengthy discussion of the preventing sexually transmitted diseases, HIV and AIDS, and both homosexual and hetersexual sex. basically i sat there, very deer-in-headlights, and said "okay mom...i just really only needed to what they are, [not the entire culture surrounding them]". and being in catholic school in nyc took care of the details, with little kids talking and trying to act 6 years older than they really were.

[mouse]

yay for science!

[MaryAnarchy]

she blinded me with science.

[FutonBunny]

i learned when i was about 8 from my mom when i asked "mommy what are these for? *holds up tampon*"

[xpierence]

i learned when i was about 8 from my mom when i asked "mommy what are these for? *holds up tampon*"nice,


I don't know why but I love this smiley. :snog:(but what the hell is snog)??¿¿

[MaryAnarchy]

i think it's some old people expression for making out

like "necking"

*shudder*

[xpierence]

yikes, thats right my grandparents were my age once. *shakes head*

[xpierence]

can you imagine, hey baby lets go snog.

Or fucking right man I snogged her all night.

[MaryAnarchy]

hahha
the latter sounds like it belongs in trainspotting

[xpierence]

LOL

[xpierence]

but seriously teh only thing I can think about right now is my old ass grandpa saying I'm going upstairs and I'm going to snog your grandmother.
"thats nice grandpa don't lose your fucking dentures this time"

[MaryAnarchy]

old people never have sex.

stop polluting my mind with these disturbing images.

[xpierence]

hahahahahahahaha, sorry.

And you can't say they never do, look at hugh hefner.

[EmmaK]

http://www.carterjackson.com/serendipityenterprises/psycho/images/psychobu3.jpg

from this (http://www.carterjackson.com/serendipityenterprises/psycho/psychobu3.htm) site

[MaryAnarchy]

hahahahahahahaha, sorry.

And you can't say they never do, look at hugh hefner.


i think he just likes arm candy
i doubt he gets any tail

[xpierence]

hahahahahahahaha

[buzzboy]

she blinded me with science. science is the servant of the human spirit.

[buzzboy]

i think he just likes arm candy
i doubt he gets any tail
i dunno, someone funded viagra research.

[xpierence]

i dunno, someone funded viagra research.right